I have always been aware of my body, from the time of being a young girl till now a woman of almost 40. Through those years, my body, like most women has undergone many transformations. I’ve been super fit, over weight (a lot of beer and chocolate while spending a year in Australia), pregnant and have been permanently scarred from having pre-cancerous moles removed. Yup, our bodies can take a beating, but are pretty resilient. It’s taken a while, but I have come to terms with my body and how I feel about myself as I age.
I want to talk about self image and body image because now that I am a photographer most times, particularly when I photograph women, they always apologize to me for how they look. These are the sorts of things I hear…..
“I really want to do this shoot, but I want to wait until I lose a few pounds first.”
” Your photographs are awesome, but I look ugly in them, my nose is gigantic, I hate my profile.”
” My face is so round, I look huge…ugh.”
” Can we wait until later in the summer, I need to get a good tan first.”
These quotes are from friends and clients which I have photographed over the last year, or quotes from people who would like their photos done, but are just not confident enough to go forward with it. Every single one of these women I have met and all of them are beautiful inside and out.
Don’t apologize for how you look!
It makes me sad when I see a beautiful woman apologizing for how she looks or her perceived flaws, even though I am not surprised. From the time we are little girls (and boys too!) we have images of so called perfection shoved in our faces. Barbie dolls, pin thin models, airbrushed magazine covers, sex laden music videos, they are all geared to this impossible standard of the perfect body.
We are led to believe if we look a certain way, will achieve more success, have more friends, more money and we will be popular and our lives will be better. Well guess what? It’s true. Unfortunately it’s true only because we have been so programmed as a society to not only accept this as a truth, but we cater to it and put so called “beautiful” people up on a pedestal.
We indulge celebrity, and give power to the beauty industry by accepting and believing their ads about how we should be bettering ourselves. We put down others and shame each other’s bodies and our own bodies daily, for what? Let’s face it we are all going to get old and we are all going to die someday, so while we are still here, why not try and focus on things that actually matter.
Focus on the Positive
Nobody really cares what you look like as much as you do, and nobody else sees your so called flaws as much as you do. Chances are they just see how awesome you are for you and probably admire your unique features and witty personality. For those people that do judge a book by it’s cover and try to pull you into their vortex of self loathing and body hating ways, tell them to piss off, you don’t really need that kind of negativity in your life. You are not focused on the trivial.
It’s a work in progress
If you haven’t reached this state of enlightenment yet, well keep working on it. Focus on the things you do like about yourself instead of the things you don’t like. Focus on giving to friends, family, community and most of all yourself. Always tend to yourself first, because if you are taken care of and feel good about yourself, it will show. This doesn’t mean you have to bust your ass to be a size two , it just means being healthy and taking care of your needs. You will radiate and no matter if you haven’t dyed your hair in 3 months, had a pedicure in a year, haven’t bought a new outfit in 2 years, it won’t matter to those important people in your life.
It is a self journey we will all work on, likely most of our lives. It’s hard to de-program a lifetime of society telling us how things should be and how we are meant to look and feel. I know as I get older there are things about my body I don’t love, but I am also coming to terms with it. I’ve had a fortunate life filled with amazing experiences and amazing people. I am just as guilty as the next person for judging people by their bodies and hating my own body and looks, but I am working on it, coming to terms with it and caring about it less. So keep fighting the good fight and focus on what is important in this life, not your dress size, but the world around you. Don’t wait to do something until you’ve lost those last few pounds or got a great tan…..the clock ticks by pretty fast.
Photo Credit: Images by Marin from freedigitalphotos.net.
